Separating Fact from Fiction

True or False?

If we can just communicate better, we can save our marriage. False.

First of all, in the heat of the moment it’s just about impossible for anyone to follow the guidelines of “active listening” and secondly, the majority of problems that couples fight about are not resolvable. What is important is learning how to identify, respect, and live with the differences.

If we fight all the time our marriage is doomed. False.

It isn’t the conflict or the arguing itself, or even what you disagree about, it’s HOW you fight. If you both have the same approach to conflict — i.e. yelling loudly, ignoring it, or talking about it — and if the underlying relationship is built on a foundation of friendship — arguments do not mean the end of your marriage.

We have to like all the same things. False.

Being married doesn’t mean that you have to spend every second together. What matters is that you enjoy the time you do spend together, regardless of what you’re doing.

Licensed Psychotherapist